Abstract
Religion often creates cultural meaning for interpersonal relations as individuals and societies develop interactively (Etengoff & Daiute, 2013). Religious tools, such as God and texts, have reportedly been used in both relationally adaptive and maladaptive ways (Brelsford & Mahoney, 2009; Brelsford, 2011). Extant research regarding relational uses of religion largely focuses on Christian dyads’ general conflicts, as opposed to conflicts related to religious prohibitions. This study expands the current research regarding theistic triangulation (i.e., God/faith positioned as an ally against other party) and mediation (i.e., God/faith invoked constructively to mediate conflict), by focusing on gay men and their Jewish and Christian relatives’ accounts of relational religious tool use (Brelsford & Mahoney, 2009; Brelsford, 2011). 23 gay men (10 Jewish backgrounds, 13 Christian backgrounds) and 15 of their religious family allies (7 Jewish, 8 Christian) completed semistructured interviews focusing on the quality of their post–coming-out relationships and how they use religion to negotiate associated conflicts. Interviews were analyzed utilizing an applied cultural historical analysis (Etengoff & Daiute, 2013). 74% (17/23) of gay men reported that their religious relatives utilized theistic triangulation in post–coming-out conflicts. 65% (15/23) of gay participants reported that theistic triangulation negatively impacted their familial relationships. Alternatively, 69% (16/23) of gay participants also spoke highly of religious family allies that navigated post–coming-out issues and conflicts effectively. These findings illuminate the necessity of including socioreligious contexts in our study and treatment of gay men and their religious families.